ersatz_read (ersatz_read) wrote,

quilt thoughts

Went to Reedsburg over the weekend, to pay respects to the Library bookshelf quilt.  It's nice.

Speaking of quilts, here are photos of Mom's last big project.  The photos don't do it justice - each square or band of color is a separate piece of fabric...all sewn together just so.  It's a variation on a pattern called French Braid.  Those little white squares are 3/4" across (so, the strips were 1 1/4" wide before seams).


It will go on the guest bed in the sewing room - once housemate has moved out.
Mom didn't want her quilts or a lot of photos - or really much of anything - at her memorial service.  The pastor..worked...that into a specifically religious message.  As is his job.  As such things go, he did well.  He did so well that people requested copies of his notes.
But what bugs me about religious memorial services is that they are more about the glorification of a set of religious beliefs than the person supposedly being memorialized.  The person becomes a tool of the religion. Now, Mom was religious and I think would have been okay with that.  But it bothers me that there isn't anyone who speaks for just the person.
If I had to guess - and I do, although it's an educated guess - I think Mom's reasoning might have been something like mine:  she didn't want someone speaking on her behalf when she was not there to defend or correct.  Making statements about her or summing up her life with a collection of what someone else found important.  If you can't be there to make sure it's right, best to not do it at all.  Plus, grubby hands getting the quilts all smudged up.  Plus, she had some self-esteem issues, and that might have factored into things.
The pastor said Mom didn't want quilts at a memorial service because she wanted us to concentrate on each other, and not on objects.  It was a nice turn of phrase, the way he said it.  But just because it's pretty doesn't mean it's accurate.  It might have been, but it too was a guess - it wasn't Mom's words. 
Tags: family
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